Mending a relationship by examining oneself

Posted February 19, 2016 at 12:00 am


I’ll wait a little longer

We’re weak and getting stronger

I know it’s taking time to heal

We’ll be unstoppable

Don’t know what I did it for

I needed to know that it was always real


My head’s held high when we walk down the line, honey

Arm in arm through the clear

night sky

Let’s be at peace, we’ll fly

Our hearts collide

Can’t escape the magnetic side


I was like a satellite spinning away

Almost lost forever and leav-

ing no trace

Floating through the darkest reaches of space

To another galaxy

Our polarity shifted around

There is nothing else left holding us down

It’s just gravitational

We are unstoppable

I just can’t escape the pull

We are unstoppable

It’s just gravitational

We are unstoppable

(Repeat pre-chorus.)

(Repeat chorus.)

We are unstoppable

We are unstoppable

We are unstoppable

Oh, oh, oh

The stars will guide the way

In the dead of space

You will be my one and only

Sung by Lianne La Havas | Copyright © 2015, Warner Brothers


Lianne La Havas has said in an interview that her song “Unstoppable” was written to help repair a relationship she had ended. The theme of repairing a relationship is apparent in the comments of the song’s protagonist. Referring to the relationship, the protagonist says she doesn’t “know what I did it for.”

She seems to have wanted to test the relationship because “I needed to know that it was always real.”  However, she accepts that now “it’s taking time to heal.” Yet, she believes that “our hearts collide,” and they “can’t escape the magnetic side” and eventually they will be “unstoppable.”

Maybe and maybe not. Her faith about repairing the relationship is commendable, but to repair things, she must first start with a thorough examination of her actions.

Her examination should include going over what she was thinking and what feelings led her to initiate the separation. Maybe there are important reasons for her decision, maybe feelings were surfacing that caused her to doubt the romance. Such feelings should not be ignored but carefully understood. This can help her see what is behind her emotions.


If aspects of her former partner’s behavior generated doubt, the behavior isn’t likely to disappear. She needs to speak honestly about what bothered her. But if the relationship was healthy and full of respect, why did this frighten her?

Maybe she feels unworthy of such love because of past situations. If this were true, then she needs to work on healing, most likely by seeking out a professional who can help her understand the roots of these feelings. If she skips this step, it is likely that even if the romantic partner agrees to a reconciliation, the same feelings will eventually surface only to sabotage their love once more.

Such factors should help her realize that any attempt to heal the relationship should proceed slowly.  Hopefully, her former romantic partner would also recognize this. If he did not want the separation, then he needs to safeguard his emotional vulnerability as they begin again.

She says that “the stars will guide the way.” I doubt this. But it would help to ask God to guide their relationship toward the highest spiritual good. In fact, a sure way for her to show her willingness to create a different, healthier relationship would be for her to suggest that they pray together for God’s guidance and healing. Prayer is always an act of love, and shared prayer becomes shared love.

No relationship is “unstoppable,” even if both parties work hard at it. However, every relationship has a chance for renewal if both partners show commitment. If the song’s protagonist starts with herself, speaks truthfully to her former partner and invites God’s presence, the relationship can be renewed and hopefully continue to bless both lives.

Martin is an Indiana pastoral counselor who reviews current music for Catholic News Service. Your comments are always welcome. Please write to:, or at: 7125 West CR 200 South, Rockport, IN 47635, or like this column on Facebook at “Charlie Martin’s Today’s Music Columns” and post a comment or suggestion.